In most of these posts, I try to keep things positive. I focus on the wins, the progress, the small moments that show I’m moving forward. Because at the end of the day, life is a journey — and like any journey, it comes with speed bumps.
Sometimes you’re cruising along at a steady pace and barely notice them. Other times, you’ve got your foot down, feeling in control, thinking you’ve got everything figured out… and then bam — you hit one at full speed and feel every bit of it.
Over the last year, I’ve hit a few of those bumps. But if I’m honest, they hadn’t really landed. Not properly. I’d managed to keep moving, keep distracted, keep telling myself I was handling it all.
And that’s the danger.
Because it’s when you start to feel comfortable — when you think you’ve got things under control — that life reminds you you’re not as steady as you thought.
It doesn’t take something huge. Sometimes it’s the smallest thing that knocks you off balance.
I talk a lot about how empowering solo travel has been for me. And it has. It’s pushed me out of my comfort zone, helped me rebuild confidence, shown me that I can rely on myself.
But beyond the flights, the photos, and the freedom… there’s real life.
And doing that solo? That’s a very different experience.
Less empowering. A lot more lonely.
There are days, like today, where that reality hits a little harder than usual.
Where I’m reminded that I’m not just travelling alone… I’m living alone too.
Your 30s are an interesting place to be. By this point, most people have their circles. Solid friendships. People nearby they can call after a bad day or meet up with on a random Tuesday just because.
And I do have those friendships. Real ones. Strong ones. The kind people talk about when they say “your people.”
The only problem is… they’re not here.
Over the years, I’ve moved around a lot. Different cities, different jobs, different chapters. And while I’ve been lucky enough to build meaningful friendships along the way, distance has quietly crept in.
Catching up now takes planning. Coordinating schedules. Booking trains. Looking weeks — sometimes months — ahead.
Gone are the days of “You free later?” and a spontaneous meet-up an hour later.
Now it’s calendars, group chats, and “Let’s lock something in for next month.”
And then there’s where I am now.
I moved to Manchester just before I got married, so most of the friendships I built were tied to that chapter of my life; couple friendships, shared spaces, shared routines.And when that chapter ended… a lot of those connections faded with it.
No drama. No fallout. Just distance.
So here I am, 31, sitting in a city hundreds of miles away from the friendships ive built, realising I don’t have anyone local I can just be with.
No one to grab a coffee with after a rough day. No one to celebrate the small wins with. No one to sit in comfortable silence with when words aren’t needed.
And yeah… when you say it out loud, it sounds a bit sad.
On days like this, it’s easy to slip back into old patterns. Self-pity. Avoidance. Escapism. Telling yourself it’s fine when it clearly isn’t.
The truth is, I’d love to meet new people. Build new friendships. Create something local.
I just don’t really know how.
It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? A grown man in his 30s unsure how to make friends. But no one really teaches you this part. When you’re younger, it just happens — school, uni, shared spaces, forced proximity.
Now? It takes effort. Intention. Putting yourself out there in ways that feel uncomfortable.
So instead, sometimes I sit at home. Waiting for the next planned catch-up. The next visit. The next moment of connection — even if it’s weeks or months away.
And I find myself thinking back to when it all felt… easier.
But I guess that’s the raw reality of it.
Sometimes life feels great.
Sometimes it doesn’t.
Sometimes you’re cruising.
Sometimes you hit the bump.
But either way, you’re still on the journey. And all you can really do… is make sure you’ve got enough fuel in the tank to get to the next stop.
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