Germany

Jaywalking in front of children will get you told off by strangers

Germany is the country most people think they can predict and mostly cannot. Yes, the trains have a reputation for punctuality and yes, that reputation is now largely historical. Yes there is beer and sausage. There is also the best contemporary art scene in Europe, forests that go on for days, and a nightlife culture in Berlin that operates on its own physics.

The regional differences are bigger than outsiders expect. Bavaria, which supplies most of the international stereotypes, is Catholic, conservative and alpine and does not represent the rest of the country at all. Hamburg is a maritime port city with more bridges than Venice. The Ruhr is post-industrial and unpretentious. Berlin is not really like anywhere, including Germany.

It is also one of the easiest countries in Europe to travel badly-planned. English is widely spoken, the regional train system is genuinely good value, and cities are dense enough to do on foot. The main adjustment for a British visitor is that shops shut on Sundays, properly shut, and that cash is still king in a startling number of places.

Annual events and festivals

• Karneval / Fasching (Feb) — Cologne, Dusseldorf and Mainz go completely feral for a week. Rosenmontag is the peak.
• Berlinale (Feb) — one of the big three European film festivals, and the most publicly accessible of them.
• Walpurgisnacht (30 Apr) — bonfires and witches in the Harz mountains on the night before May Day.
• Karneval der Kulturen, Berlin (May-Jun) — a huge multicultural street parade through Kreuzberg.
• Wave-Gotik-Treffen, Leipzig (Jun) — the world’s largest gothic festival. Twenty thousand people in black in a summer heatwave.
• Kieler Woche (Jun) — the biggest sailing event in the world, plus a massive waterfront festival.
• Oktoberfest, Munich (mid Sep – early Oct) — starts in September despite the name. Book a year out or accept you are standing.
• Cannstatter Volksfest, Stuttgart (Sep-Oct) — Oktoberfest’s slightly less mobbed rival.
• Festival of Lights, Berlin (Oct) — landmarks across the city projected on for ten nights.
• Christmas Markets (late Nov – Dec) — Nuremberg, Dresden and Cologne do the famous ones. Gluhwein is mandatory.